On Getting the Hang of the New Age

on March 16, 2017

Submitted by Helen Roser

As an old person who has tried to keep in touch with her fellow humans, I have realized we have been working our way back to all-purpose grunt instead of ahead with words.

Finally, one all-purpose word has replace the popular two words “awesome” and “cool”.  The new word is “crazy” and I think I understand its popularity.  When we oldsters were required to build our vocabulary, it was so we could more effectively and accurately communicate with our fellow man.  (Meaning humans, which include women.)

After numerous attempts to learn what was on a young person’s mind and getting only “crazy” as the response, I have realized the object now is not to enhance communication , but to avoid it.

I have also realized that the beloved little device held in the hand constantly, as of a body part, is for the purpose of avoiding communication with a fellow human standing two feet away.  This realization dawned as a began speaking to the young person whose opinion ZI sought and how she reached it, sat in front of me.  As soon as I began to speak, she whipped out her device and began to peck the keys with rapt attention.  Seeing that her attention was not on the one who was trying to communicate with her, I stopped speaking.  She stopped pecking, glanced up and, in some annoyance, told me to “go on.”

I told her I thought she was busy and would wait.  She proudly explained that she was “multi-taking” and could hear me.  Didn’t matter because when I finished and waited for her response, it was (you’re ahead of me here, aren’t you?):  “crazy.”

In the olden days, the value of appointments was for their convenience of both parties.  In other words, knowing  when to expect the visitor.  Recently I had an appointment for someone to visit at 2 p.m. But at 1:40. a sudden burst of racket at my door sounding  like someone alerting me to an emergency.  There was ringing of the doorbell with one hand while apparently banging on the door with the other.  It was the 2 p.m. appointee who informed me she “likes to arrive early.”  Why, she didn't say, but that her using both hands to announce her arrival was due to thinking she couldn't be heard.  My guess is that past prompt answering of the door was thwarted by the unexpected early arrival.

Maybe she was expressing her authority,  Who knows?  My thought:  It was crazy.  As you can see, I am getting the hang of the new age.  Grunt!